I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
