I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
