I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Come share oat with me in your robe
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
