Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
wakey wakey hands off snakey
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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