party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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