I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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