My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
