No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
