i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
