i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
