i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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