I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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