wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
