We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
