I hate all girls vehemently.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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