im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize