last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize