So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
