Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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