first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He kissed a someone with a penis
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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