He had one of those small greek statue penises
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
