like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
