I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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