when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
