i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
