guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
