Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
They took my balls.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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