my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
