saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
