i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
