How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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