He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
That accounts for only three of the penises
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Randomize
