i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Text me some of your sweat
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