You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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