Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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