Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
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