I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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