Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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