I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
...so i touched it.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You're like the curious george of whores
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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