when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
