Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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