I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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