Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
