hell yes lets make some ravioli
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
