should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
