it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
