How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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