Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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