Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
