She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
