He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
