North Korea, Best Korea!
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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