Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
