You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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