Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
