Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
