I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
