Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
